Bobcats 97, Bucks 81

"The one thing I'm impressed with the coaches and the players is the professionalism in how they practice and how they play,'' Coach Bernie Bickerstaff said after Tuesday’s win over Atlanta. I love it when pros praise each other for their “professionalism.” With that in mind, the Bobcats made an evening appointment with a Milwaukee-based firm on Saturday, and took care of business, making the Bucks feel about as welcome as Michael Ray Richardson at a bar mitzvah.

Milwaukee, having long since decided to liquidate their FY 06-07 operations, were playing guys with names like “Ersan Ilyasova” and “Damir Markota,” mysterious Europeans who sport mid-length black socks and shoes that make them look like they’re wearing Doc Martens. They also had some dude named Jared Reiner who reminded me of the bassist from Nirvana, the relatively normal-looking one who didn’t go on to another band or shoot himself in the head. And here’s something that occurred to me: you know why everyone thinks Greg Oden is much earlier than he is? Because he has Ruben Patterson’s forehead. Patterson actually had a strong game, getting 14 points and several personal fouls, every one of which seemed to involve a violent injury to Gerald Wallace.

The Bobcats had some personnel changes of their own. First, Derek Anderson was back after five games. Second, Brevin Knight is now bald! And I dig it; he looks like a black Telly Savalas. Emeka Okafor played his second game in a row since returning from injury (11 points, 12 rebounds, 5 blocks) but is clearly still a little rusty. He’s lost of a bit of his touch and is really firing it hard at the hoop—has anyone ever shattered the backboard with a free throw? Mek came close a couple of times. Still adjusting to playing with starters, the Cats bumbled their way out of the gates en route to a 46-43 halftime deficit.

That would have been a good time for Bucks fans to crack open a sixer of Milwaukee’s Best, pop in an old videotape of Storm A-Brewin’: The 1982 AL Pennant Winning Brewers, and call it a night, because it was all downhill from there. The Bucks were outscored 30-12 in the third, and zany, end-of-the-season, teams-going-nowhere hijinks and shenanigans quickly ensued. The Bucks also turned it over just about every play (finishing with 24), many of which I actually missed, because I caught a glimpse of Coach Bickerstaff’s tie, which appeared featured either an emblem or seal, causing him to look sort of like a prep schoolboy. And then for the next five minutes I couldn’t get the image of him with shorts and a guitar--a la AC/DC’s Angus Young--out of my head, doing the Chuck Berry walk up and down the sideline.

Anyway, one thing that was impossible not to notice is the play of Walter Herrmann, who had 23 points and 9 rebounds. I’ve gotten to love how he crosses his legs just before he spots up for a 3-pointer like Marilyn Monroe standing over a fan. He might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer—his theory in the Charlotte Observer about the frequent comparisons to Fabio: “maybe it’s because of the hair”—but he’s also endeared me with his drives to the hoop, in which he palms the rock like he’s playing team handball.

Wallace had 24 points, 13 rebounds, 5 steals, and just 2 turnovers (not counting the teeth he lost to Patterson’s elbows). So that makes 28, but we want 30! We want 30! After three years in the league, 30 is the new 20.