Bobcats 111, Kings 108

Wow, who’d have thought the Bobcats would be leading the newswire during their off-day with two separate headlines: Coach Bickerstaff’s non-extension and Brevin Knight’s fine. Even though we all knew Coach B. was going, I’m still a little saddened now that it’s official. If nothing else, one of my favorite 'Cat quirks will soon be coming to an end, which is that we had to be the only professional team in all of sports whose head coach has openly insisted on a number of occasions that he’d rather not be coaching—not something you see everyday.

What I’d love to have for Coach B.’s last home game is a video montage of all of his greatest facial expressions—the numerous frowns and winces, the negotiating-with-the-refs ones where he’s got his hands halfway up, the helplessly confused/pleading ones after yet another unforced turnover where he looks like Mr. Mom trying to handle a bunch of wild 3-year-olds, and of course the head shakes of disgust. You string those together and maybe play “Nobody Does It Better” in the background, and I guarantee you’ll bring the house down. (note: in the press conference about Coach B., why was MJ referring to Kevin Durant as “the kid in Texas”? Did he just forget or did he really not know Durant’s name? Either answer seems somewhat troubling. MJ also stressed repeatedly the need for “versatility,” which I found ironic after he couldn’t have selected a more un-versatile player in the draft last year)

As for the game, a few things jumped out at me right away. First, the Kings were in their Oscar statue gold outfits, making it look like we were playing a team of C3POs. Second, the joint was EMPTY, even by our standards. If this keeps up, they might have to take out the “Arena” and rename the place to Charlotte Bobcats Tavern and maybe put some bouncers out on the sidewalk with flyers, urging people to come on and check out the pro basketball team inside.

Sacramento was coming off an awful loss to the LeBron-less Cavaliers, their third in a row in what could very well be the end of the Musselman Experiment. For us, Raymond Felton didn’t start because of nausea and Brevin Knight was out with a strained groin—at this point I didn’t think BK had any groin left to strain. Fortunately, Raymond came in toward the end of the first quarter (what does that mean when that happens? Did he get better in those ten minutes?), but he was used sparingly until the 2nd half.

This meant that Gerald Wallace would essentially have to cover for Emeka Okafor’s rebounding and Felton’s assists. Unfortunately, all he really did was make up for Primoz Brezec’s fouls—he had three before the half was up, as well as a bunch of out-of-control commando raids to the hoop that really killed us. Not to be outdone was Coach B., who picked up a tech himself (which reminds me, I left one off the “greatest looks” list: the incredulous one, always a classic—it’s the same look my dog gives me when I pick up his doo-doo in a bag, as if he’s asking, “Why are you putting it in a bag and not eating it?”).

Nonetheless, the Bobcats held a 2-point, 82-80 advantage entering the fourth quarter, thanks to tremendous efforts by Felton (16 points, 8 assists), Sean May (20 points, 12 rebounds), and Matt Carroll (22 points, 5 assists). But the foul shots nearly did us in, as G-Dub fouled out with 3:37 to go, May had 5, and Primoz had 4 (how unlike him!), leading to a 38 to 16 disparity in free throw attempts. For the Kings, Kevin Martin (26 points, 7 rebounds, 6 assists) and Mike Bibby (15 points and 6 boards—twice we get to see him in two weeks! How lucky can we get? What a gay old time it’s been!) led the way for Sac-town. Despite 6 turnovers, Ron Artest also had a stellar performance. Besides his 21 points and 7 assists, he drained a huge 3-pointer with 30 seconds to go and was disruptive on defense all night long, lodging 3 steals. His hands are so quick, it’s easy to see why he’s such a skilled spousal abuser.

Once Primoz missed a put-back off a Matt Carroll missed lay-up with 1:45 left that you just have to see to believe, and then followed it up with a mishandled pass from Felton under the hoop that somehow took him by surprise, I prepared to make my peace with Loss #42. But Sean May single-handedly saved the day with a 3-pointer to reclaim the lead and then drew a charge off Artest with 10 seconds to go for the turnover. Felton sank two free throws after getting fouled on the ensuing inbound, and that did it. Awesome victory! Eric Mussleman can probably start entering “basketball coach” and “DUI’s not an issue” as keywords in his Monster.com account.