We Are...ON THE CLOCK!!!

All right, everyone, Blogcat's in your area, about cause mass hysteria: it’s Charlotte’s pick in the mock draft. The bad news is that Corey Brewer is gone (he went 7th to Minnesota). The neutral news is that Yi went 5th to the Celtics and Brandan Wright went 6th to Milwaukee.

TIMANG, I’m not really interested in trading the 8th pick—not with all that cap space that we have. I feel like we can sign players and we don’t need to trade anyone. I told Mike from Bullets Forever that I’d be interested in Brendan Haywood for the 22nd pick, and for some odd reason he wanted Othella Harrington also. This is like when I was trying to sell my house, and this dude offered to buy it, but only if I guaranteed I would leave him this little statue of a frog that was in my garden that I bought 5 years ago for, like, 35 bucks.

So with Brewer off the table, that leaves us with Jeff Green, Julian Wright, and Al Thornton. There’s also the it’s-too-good-to-be-true-pinch-me options of Spencer and Noah. I gotta tell you, I’m sort of leaning towards Thornton, and here’s why: he’s 6-7 and he’s capable of playing the 2, and I don’t need to remind anyone of how spotty that shooting guard we got last year has been. In fact, that’s another reason NOT to get Spencer as far as I’m concerned: how embarrassing would it be to get burned on draft picks by the state of Washington two years in a row? Washington is good for Brandon Roy, flannel, apples, settings for ET and Poltergeist, and that’s about it.

So anyway, we could have Ray-Ray, Thornton, G-Dub at the 3, Mek at the 4, and (kill me now) Primoz or a vastly improved Ryan Hollins (presumably after Jordan and Tim Grover have spent the summer torturing him at Hoops the Gym and constantly screaming at him, “You’re worthless, you’re less than nothing, you play center like old people…”) OR Brendan Haywood if I can pull that trade off. And before you yell at me that we’re going to try to sign either Lewis or Carter for the 2-guard, a) that’s not a given, b) I don’t really want Carter that much, and c) I’d be more interested in using that cap space to get Billups. Thoughts? We’ve got 24-hours on this one, so summon your inner Jack Bauers.

By the way, you’re absolutely right, DVDBUMPUS, it is getting crazy. My email is blowing up like I lost all of my spam controls. Check out this one from Dave, the Portland Trail Blazers representative:

“Anyone want Zach Randolph and change for a later lottery pick? I don't know what the Blazers would actually do but my reader base would kiss me twice and thrice on Sunday if I could get them Jeff Green.”

Ummm, what is he talking about? To the good people of Portland: this isn’t actually happening. You could virtually trade Zach Randolph for the 6oth pick and the entire cast of What's Happening? if you wanted, because this isn't real (plus Rerun is quite possibly in better shape than Z-Bo at this point, and Dee might make for a very shrewd GM). You know how in the 50s or whenever it was that Orson Welles went on radio to try to get people afraid that aliens were actually attacking the planet? For the most part nobody believed it. Well, this is like the exact opposite: people are going crazy for something that they actually know for a fact isn’t happening.

Okay, let me know what to do, people. Pick your cliché: The ball’s in our court. It’s our move. It’s a perfect storm. It’s like groundhog day. It’s like a video game. It’s like a virgin. And once again, you can continue to follow this virtual action at:
http://www.indycornrows.com/