Mock News Update

Holy crap, not one but THREE people commented on my last entry! I was getting so worried that no one ever read this thing that my next blog was just going to be, "Echo!"

Anyway, quick update of fake news on this fake draft: the fake Trail Blazers fakely selected Greg Oden (no surprise), and the virtual Sonics took a Durant hologram. Then the pseudo- Atlanta Hawks--and I swear I'm NOT making this up--selected Al Horfod rather than a point guard. Makes me wonder if it's actually the real Hawks front office calling the shots on that one.

Then, in a bit of comedy, the imposter Grizzlies first CHEWED OUT the Hawks blogger for taking Horford when they (virtual Atlanta) didn’t need him and replica Memphis did. And in a bit of mock draft revenge, Memphis selected Conley. I’m kind of glad Conley’s off the table because something truly bothers me about the way he and Oden keep insisting how they want to be on the same team; I can picture one of them (mostly Conley) pulling a Vince Carter later and insisting on being traded to whatever team Oden's on.

Then I got this trade proposal from “Bullets Forever” blogger Mike (a name that continues to crack me up, because they were really only the Bullets for about 25 years), which I will relay to you word-for-word:
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MIKE: Do you have any interest in trading for Antonio Daniels? How does an offer of AD and Darius Songaila for Sean May and the 22nd pick sound?

ME: I say no, but let me put it to my web page for due diligence.

MIKE: Would you consider AD for #22 and Brevin Knight?

ME: I don't think so, man. AD's a year older, costs $1.1 million more, averaged 2 points, 3 assists, and 1 steal LESS per game than Brevin, plus I'd have to throw in a 22nd pick for him? Am I missing something?
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I love it! He gives me a crappy offer, and when I reject it, he turns around and gives me a WORSE offer.

All right, so I’m getting a couple of theories here. KAPZX and Dwyan both are anti-Joaquin Noah. In fact, KAPZX hates Noah so much that he suggested an amendment to the draft rules wherein I could send fake agents (whom I visualize as looking like Agent Smith from “The Matrix”) over to Georgetown University and try to talk Roy Hibbert (“Miiiiiisster Hibbert…” the agents would say) into re-entering the draft. I love the idea, but I don’t think that’s going to fly with Dungeon Master Mike (especially when I just basically laughed in his face over the AD-BK trade proposal).

I totally agree about Noah—he’s probably just going to be a more expensive Anderson Varejao. We should always be suspicious when big guys are described as “high-energy” because it’s generally a euphemism for “uncoordinated spazz.” AIRBOBCAT likes Yi, although he probably won’t be available by the time it's our turn. So it sounds like we should be drafting according to skill and not need, in which case, I would agree that Brewer is probably the best available player at #8. No one seems to know anything at all about Spencer, and that probably applies to most of the state of Washington as well. So my new tentative plan is that unless Yi is available at #8, I’m probably going to go with Brewer—agreed?

More fake updates to follow, and here is the link to the SB Nation web page that lists the picks and the rationales by each selecting team (or types of crack smoked, if you’re the Atlanta blogger):

http://www.indycornrows.com/