Thumbs Up/Sideways/Down

Thumbs Up: Tim Duncan
I have to admit, I downplayed San Antonio’s Game 1 victory in Phoenix, because a) Steve Nash was neutralized in the final minute, and b) I didn’t think Tim Duncan would be able to duplicate his 33-point/16-rebound/3-block performance. But although his teammates have been inconsistent, Duncan’s been a rock, a Simonian-Garfunklian island. He got 29/11/2 in Game 2, and 33/19/3 on Saturday. Basically, he not only duplicated Game 1, he’s sending out mass distros of it.

Thumbs Sideways: The Phoenix Suns
I still think Phoenix can, um, rise again, provided Nash rallies his troops. I think Steve is secretly thankful for that bloody nose, because it gives him street cred (look what public bleeding did for Curt Schilling)—it’s like when a rapper gets shot. Steve has now become the “Fabolous” of the NBA: both were formerly well-respected in their professions but not really regarded as tough, and now Steve’s been bloodied and Fab’s been shot. On the other hand, there’s a limit to how much of a beating one can take before it becomes counterproductive, and I think Nash reached that threshold in Game 3 when he went down in a heap after Bruce Bowen did a “Lord of the Dance” number on his testicles. Watching him flop to the floor in agony, I thought that if only Nash had Sandman-like powers, then Bowen’s knee could have burst through harmlessly like Spiderman’s punch. As for Fab, I’m fully expecting at least 2-3 references to his gunshot wound per song on his upcoming album--anything less would be a totally wasted opportunity.

Thumbs Down: My dog’s teeth
Lincoln is a non-stop chewing machine. He’s gone through three power chords, a mouse chord, two turntables, a microphone (not really), my flip-flops, and a chair. When I locked him in the kitchen the other day and removed all furniture, he actually began chewing the wall. Sometimes I just let him gnaw on my hand—even though it hurts, at least I can be sure he’s not destroying something else. Has anyone ever tried to feed a dog Bubblicious (if only I’d kept some of that awful military surplus gum that Topps used to put in their packs of baseball cards)? We got him this little muzzle made of cloth, but it took me more time to get it out of its plastic container than it did for him to chew through it. So now I think I'm going to have to up the ante and get him some sort of Hannibal Lecter mask...