Raptors 105, Bobcats 84

The Cats traveled to Toronto on Monday night to take on the Raptors, who are named after the dinosaurs who stole the show in Jurassic Park despite sharing the screen with several higher-profile creatures, such as the T-Rex, the Triceratops, and Jeff Goldblum. Though I miss Toronto’s distinctive purple uniforms, which were ditched for a more conventional red, I think the standard striping along the shorts is much better than the old version, which caused the players to look like they were getting groped in the ass by two giant fossil claws. The team also shed PG Mike James to start the season in favor of TJ Ford and Jose Calderon, and their performance and record are substantially better. On the other hand, without James, who once memorably compared his abilities to that of a high-priced hooker, their post-game comments are a shell of their former selves.

On any normal day, getting outscored 23-8 in the 3rd quarter would mean defeat for the Bobcats. Unfortunately, it was a normal day. The Cats were only trailing by three to start the second half but fell victim to All-Star forward Chris Bosh, who sat most of the first with foul trouble but erupted in the 3rd quarter to finish with 20 points. Meanwhile, the speedy Calderon continuously streaked to the hoop like a little Spanish spitball en route to 19 points and 11 assists. In fact, with five guys in double figures, Toronto distributed the scoring equally in a way you’d expect from a country with socialist tendencies. The Raptors also converted 16 Bobcats turnovers into 26 points.

For the Bobcats, instead of tracking points off turnovers, the team would be better off measuring turnovers off turnovers. It seemed like after every Raptors giveaway, the Bobcats would hand it right back, resulting in multiple shots of poor Coach Bickerstaff giving his classic “who farted in the elevator?” look. Forget assists-to-turnover ratios, Adam Morrison actually had as many turnovers as points (3), narrowly edging out Jeff McInnis (4 turnovers, 5 points). Raymond Felton at least returned for 19 points and 8 assists, and Gerald Wallace (19 points and 9 rebounds) seems to be less than 100% in the same way that Amare Stoudamire is.

After the game, several Bobcats admitted to struggling with the Raptors’ zone defense. This struck me as strange—almost as strange as the Air Canada Centre playing Aerosmith’s “Dude Looks Like a Lady” during a timeout (was their Jumbo-Tron camera searching the arena for transvestites or something?); it seems as if 9 times out of 10 you hear that the zone never works in the pros. Perhaps this was that 10th time. “The zone threw us out of character,” said Bickerstaff afterwards. I'm not so sure. Considering we finished the night shooting 43%, if anything, I’d say it threw us right in character.